In the ceremony she recognises how respectful, appreciative and thankful the relationship is between the host and the guest.
The Host...
The host's job is to take care of the guest, pay attention to them, show appreciation of their presence, to give and to offer their generosity.
The Guest...
The guest's job is to receive the kindness of host, show their appreciation and reciprocate the respect extended to them by the host.
We are hosts to our own lives...
She looks at this host-guest relationship and extends it to a metaphor of us being as a host, and everything we feel and experience as the guest.
We are the hosts to our own lives. The host is the body that remains, the guests come to visit for a period of time, but then leave again.
I really love this idea, because I think it is so empowering and really gives you back a sense of control and peace with the world and the way things are.
You are in control...
When you look at life in this way, where you are the host and everything else is just passing through, you are the one in control.
You are not at the mercy of the world and being blown around by life like a leaf in the wind.
Different moments will come to you as your guests which you experience and attend to and then they leave and you let them go.
All guests will leave...
These guests could be different relationships, feelings of pain, sadness, fear and loss, or joy, happiness, excitement, love.
All these guests will come into our lives to visit us and then once again leave when we have spent enough time with them to accept what they are bringing us.
In Brenda Shoshanna's book she talks about a Zen saying which goes like this,
'When they come, we welcome,
when they go, we do not pursue.'
What a great expression! It gives us complete freedom to accept and ironically release our compulsion or need to control.
Nothing lasts forever...
Life is always in a state of change and flow, everything is transient and impermanent, coming and going, nothing lasts forever.
However, just as we cannot hold onto the good times forever, the bad times are also temporary and will change and pass on too.
Change is not loss or failure, it's life...
How do we experience change? If we can allow change, expect it, not fight it and in fact enjoy it, our journey will be a lot less painful and difficult.
The art of loving and relationships is all about accepting change.
Fear of loss and change in relationships is a big issue for a lot of people and prevents them from allowing things to progress on in the way they are meant to.
Don't treat pain as an intruder...
When we experience difficult feelings, don't try to fight them and push them away.
We may not like what they are bringing us, but it may be something we need to hear or learn.
Do not treat them as intruders, invite them in as a valued visitor who has something to offer and share with us through their presence.
What is pain trying to tell us?
Spend time with them and give them your attention. Find out what they are here to bring to you, what message they have to give us, what their purpose is in our lives?
The more we try to ignore what they are here to tell us, the longer they will stay and the louder they will shout and the more it will hurt till we listen to them.
Stay with the feeling, don't run away from it...
People often try to escape feelings of fear and loneliness by getting into relationships or using addictions to numb out the pain.
However difficult it is, try to remain in the moment with these feelings and just accept them and allow yourself to feel them completely without resistance and you will find they will just go.
This process will clear out and release all the trapped painful emotions in your body and mind system and clarity will come to you.
Emotions can mutate...
It is very important to release painful emotions and feelings from your body, because if they are repressed for too long they can mutate into physical problems that are much more difficult to treat.
Chinese acupuncturists will tell you that anger is stored in the liver, fear and anxiety in the kidneys, sorrow in the lungs, rumination in the spleen and excessive joy in the heart.
I didn't know this as a child, but only in retrospect did I realise that my father was chronically angry and because he was unable to express and release these feelings he ended up with liver cancer and passed away at the age of 55 having never touched a drop of alcohol a day in his life.
The host is powerful...
When we think of a host, perhaps we think of a subservient role, but in fact the host has a lot of power and is able to provide structure and direction to the guest.
There will always be some guests we like, enjoy and appreciate more than others, however, it is important to acknowledge the value of every experience they bring, for these are gifts that enable us to keep growing and learning more about ourselves everyday.
No comments:
Post a Comment