EFT

I'm still worshipping the goddess that is EFT founder Dr Susan Johnson:

http://www.psychotherapy.net/article/couples-therapy-attachment

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Doubt Don't Mean Don't

I like this concept. Doubt is normal and it stems from fear and grief...

http://conscious-transitions.com/are-you-settling/

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Tap tap tapping...

Hmm, I'm still not sure what I think about tapping, but this article makes sense in terms of understanding the fight flight response that can sometimes be all too constant in conflictual relationships. My jury is still out, but I remain open minded...what are your thoughts?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nick-ortner/emotional-freedom-technique_b_1349223.html

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Attachment

I'm on a training course at the Centre for Child Mental Health at the moment.

The more I think about attachment theory and its significance to humankind, the more I don't understand why everyone doesn't know about it. We need education.

Without attachments to those we love and those who love us, what more are we than leaves blowing in the wind. Desperately trying to find some shelter or respite from the elements of life and so vulnerable to all the things of this world that do not wish love upon us...what tragic irony.

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Turnaround

I'm very much enjoying the work of Byron Katie at the moment:

http://thework.com/downloads/little_book/English_LB.pdf

In this little online book she uses a CBT type approach where you take the painful thought, question if it is true and then turn it around.

For example:

Belief: "I'm working so hard to forgive him and he doesn't acknowledge it or help me at all."

Turnaround: "He's working so hard to forgive me and I don't acknowledge it or help him at all."

- Perhaps you both have something to forgive and neither of you help the other?

Belief: "I don't know if you will or can change."

TA "You don't know if I will or can change."

TA "I don't know if I will or can change."

- Are we projecting our own fears and fallibility onto others?

When we turnaround our beliefs and explore all the options, sometimes we realise that the truth is not always the truth, but a painful thought we believe to be true. 

The thought disempowers us as we suffer at its meaning. 

But reality does not change, everything is as it is and as it is meant to be and by fighting with 'shoulds' and 'should nots' in our heads, we are fighting reality! 

Let life lead you rather than you trying to lead life. Don't swim against the current, it will wear you out!

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Don't wait till it's too late.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2109136/Couples-early-40s-marriage-MOTs-prevent-relationship-breakdown.html

I particularly like the idea of relationship check ups. Baroness Tyler says,

"We have health checks and dental check-ups. Even out cars get MoTs. We should be prepared to invest in our relationship, our emotional lives, in a similar way."

Sobering to think how we put our relationships and emotions so far down the list.

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Check out my posts on the 'Relate Blog'

http://www.relateblog.org.uk/

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