What makes a relationship successful?
It depends what you mean by success, but when I look at the most successful relationships around me, I observe a very important factor in common with all of these couples.
They often don't have the most dynamic, exciting, breath taking relationships.
They probably wouldn't make very good movies.
But they are easy, comfortable, stable and pleasant to be around.
There is very little unneccessary drama.
I quantify the success of a relationship here as being a satisfying and secure relationship that has sustained throughout time.
It doesn't matter how much you like someone...
The thing is it's not about how good it is when it is good.
Or how much you like, fancy, admire or adore each other.
These are the things that make the tough times worth it of course, but these can also be the things that make it so difficult to see the reality of the situation you are in.
When it's good it's great, no problem...
It doesn't matter how much you like someone, or how great it is when it's good...because when it's good between you, that's great, there is no problem, there is nothing to be concerned about.
However, that's not going to be what gets you through.
It is inevitable that there will be bad times in and amongst all these good times and that is what will really show what you are made of.
It's about what's good when it's bad...
It's not about what's good when it's good, that's never an issue. What is actually most important is how good you are together when its bad, that is really going to get you through.
Highs and lows...
If your relationship is like a huge pendulum swinging from massive highs to crashing lows, it's likely you are caught in one of these situations where the good is so amazing that you want to stay and fight for it in spite of how terrible it is when you are low.
However the highs are usually so high, because they are coupled with devastating lows and over time this is going to wear out even the most committed romantics.
The best love stories won't make it to Hollywood...
How you manage your bad times, crises and lows will be the best indicator of the long term success of your relationship.
The best love stories won't make it to Hollywood, because they will be mostly low drama, efficient, co-operative and quick when it comes to dealing with conflict and generally all round pretty stable affairs.
Drama comes from the ego...
It's always been my opinion that the truest romance and most authentic love emerges within these stable, safe conditions of a relationship anyway.
All the rest of the drama is just superficial and ego led and usually you will find is just a flowers and chocolates disguised attempt to avoid real commitment.
Love comes from the heart...
The ego likes to throw out drama to get a reaction, to feel powerful, to create excitement.
True love comes from the heart.
If you both come to each other from your hearts and not your egos, the good will be good and the bad will be good, because this is real love.
And love is going to be what really gets you through in the end.
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