Online Dating Tips

As promised in my previous post on online dating here are my tips...

1) Keep your email interactions short and snappy.
 The aim of online dating is not to be communicating with each other online forever, but to get out on a date and see how you get on. Anyone can be charming, funny, exciting online, you need to meet them to see how they translate in real life and see if there is any chemistry between you and an authentic connection. You will usually have a good idea within the first few minutes if there is any long term potential.

2) Keep phone calls short and snappy.
If you exchange numbers and decide to have a conversation on the phone before meeting, or perhaps to arrange your meeting, keep this brief and to the point. You may find you get along very well on the phone, but when you meet up you find there is nothing between you but now feel obliged to maintain the facade of getting along very well in person.

3) Keep first dates short and snappy.
The best idea for a first date would be an afternoon coffee or an after work drink. That way you are not tied into sitting through a whole dinner or theatre show with someone you feel absolutely no spark with. If you do get along and want to see each other again, that will be apparent and you can take it from there.

4) Go on a second date if you are not sure after the first date.
But don't go on a third date if you are still not sure after the second date. You can only flog a dead horse for so long, as they say. If there's nothing there, there's nothing there, let it go and move on.

5) Don't kiss on your first date if you intend to muti-date.
If you want to date a few different people at the same time before you decide who you are going to commit to, getting into the physical side of things too quickly can be confusing. Save your kisses for at least your second or third dates, or when the moment feels right between you.

6) Definitely don't sleep with someone till you are sure about them.  
We are designed to feel attachment and want to bond to people we have sex with, so bear that in mind. Your body can make you believe you are in love with someone, when you don't even know them yet. Also have consideration for the people you are dating and their feelings.

7) Don't fixate.
The great thing about online dating is the opportunity it gives you to multi-date; in that way providing you with options so you don't fixate on any one person. If you had a great date and there were promises made to call the next day and no phone call comes, you have a choice of other people to talk to, or arrange to meet up with. Don't be crushed by this 'no show', your potential partner could be busy or a slow burner and may take a few days or weeks before calling again. After one date it's still early days, so relax and give things the space to become what they will be.

8) Honesty is the best policy.
It may not be easy to reject people, but if you really don't feel anything or see a future with someone, don't keep them hanging on for another date with you. Setting them free to find someone who will look at them and feel about them the way you want to be able to feel and see someone is the biggest favour you can do for them. It may not feel good in the short term for either of you, but at least you are not wasting anyone else's time and you both know where you stand.

9) Have fun.
Dating should be fun and freeing so don't take it too seriously and just enjoy it. This is your time to go out and date lots of different people who you might not normally get the chance to meet. Even if you don't fall head over heels in love with the man of your dreams, remember it's the journey not the destination. You could still end up having a lot of fun and making some really good friends!

10) Keep the faith.
Don't give up hope if you have a bad date, or even a string of bad dates. It's a game of numbers, just keep getting yourself out there and remain open to opportunity, you never know what your next date holds in store for you.