Throwing your toys out of the pram...

It's so easy in the heat of the moment to throw all your toys out of the pram and declare yourself, 'Out!' But, be careful, do this too many times and you can seriously damage your relationship. If this type of behaviour becomes a habit, you may soon learn that people get tired of picking up toys and will leave you crying 'wolf' on the mountainside all by yourself. 

It can all feel like too much sometimes, the fights, the emotions, the misunderstandings, but the underlying desire for both of you is to make the relationship work, you just need to recognise that this is what you both want and begin to work together to resolve some of this stuff if you can. Make a conscious decision within yourself not to end things unless you are really sure that is what you want to do and discuss it with friends and family so you are clear on what you are doing and why.

Breaking up in the middle of a disagreement may make you feel like you have control and power back over your lover, but we all really seek security and safety in our relationships with a partner so when you throw the toys out the pram as soon as the going gets tough, it seriously damages trust between the two of you. Eventually you may find your partner will not come to you with important issues that need to be discussed for fear of rocking the boat which culminates in many little things building up over time and eroding your relationship anyway.

If you are going to break up, it’s much better to sit down together and have an adult conversation about why the relationship is not working for you and if it’s possible to work it out or not. If there are too many deal breakers and you both decide it’s just not workable, then the best thing may be to part ways amicably and move on. Find someone else who you are happy to share your toys with and play with them together. 

It's ok to drop a toy or two every now and again, but to throw them all out is just cutting your nose off to spite your face. Your partner is by definition a 'part' of you, so if you hurt them, you are only really hurting yourself.