Compliments

Some people are just so adept at filling your ears with all that sweet stuff you want to hear. They know how to make your chest swell and ego throb so much so that you can become addicted to it. Others are just not that great at it!

Giving compliments, much like the art of conversation and delivering a powerful sales pitch is a skill like anything else, it can be learnt. A well timed, well delivered compliment can really earn you a lot of points when it comes to 'winning friends and influencing people'.

It may be a natural born gift, inherent in a person's personality and sits happily in their 'toolbox of wooing' a lover. Beware not to fall too easily for the charm of a silver tongued Romeo, as his skill is easily transferable to any situation and you may not feel quite so special when you realise his lines are being recycled on a weekly, daily even hourly basis!

It may feel unnatural and awkward to you to try and seduce your lover with sweet talk, if that is not the way you are, but a compliment doesn't have to be a painfully contrived effort. Be observant, notice specific things that are unique to your partner that you find endearing and tell them in your own understated way.

They may well have heard how sexy and beautiful they are a hundred times, but has anyone ever told them that they love the mole on the inner side of their left ear? Or how cute you think that little noise is that they make when they first wake up and stretch in the morning? Letting your partner know you are paying attention, if they change their hair, or do something different with their make up, or are wearing something particularly fetching in your eyes, can really be all it takes to create the same effect as a well polished compliment.

If you find yourself in a situation with a partner who particularly finds this difficult, don't take it personally. It may well be that he thinks you are the best thing since Sky Sports, but just struggles with articulating this. Notice the ways in which he does appreciate and adore you and compliment him on that. Rather than make him feel like a 'loser' for being so socially awkward, show him how it's done and he can learn from you how to return the favour, as well as recognising his own strengths and competencies through your guidance.

Final note of warning. If you are used to being given compliments all the time and feel unattractive or unworthy when you don't get them, be aware in yourself how you feel about who you are. Compliments are always nice to receive, but you should not 'need' compliments to feel good about who you are. If you have a massive issue with the lack of compliments in your relationship, it may be to do with your own self esteem being fragile. Work on learning how to make yourself feel good in order to pass on this gift to others.