You are NOT listening to me!!

If you think you know how to listen, then maybe have a think about what listening is not and then see if you still think you are a good listener...

Listening is NOT:

• Looking at the other person, nodding, looking like you are listening, but really having our own inner conversation with ourselves in our heads about what we think about what this person is saying and effectively judging this person.

• Whilst the other person is talking, listening to see how we can direct the conversation according to our own agenda.

• Listening to see if you agree or disagree with what the other person is saying to us.

• Waiting for the other person to finish so then we can get to say what we think and our point of view.

• Being excited to keep bantering back and forth and be as funny, impressive and witty as we can be.

• Trying to get the conversation to go where you want it to go, so you get your needs met.

• Not giving the other person space to think about what they are trying to say to you.

Listening is...

• One of the most important, if not THE most important skill you will need to develop, maintain and nurture your relationships. 

•  A chance for you to really get to know your partner and build a level of trust and understanding that goes beyond words.  

• Accepting, empowering, empathising, supporting and loving.