Taking a philosophical position in many ways is linked to a skill we try to encourage the development of in therapy, relationships and life generally which is taking a meta-position.
That is to try to stand outside of the situation and look in on it as an outsider to gain another perspective.
Lately, I've been catching up on documentaries I've been meaning to watch on 4OD and I found this series quite interesting: Philosophy: A guide to Happiness.
In the following blog posts I will break down what I got from each episode...the crib notes if you like and how we can apply these philosophies to our relationships.
Episode 1: Seneca on Anger
This one is kind of funny, I think...Seneca proposes that our anger comes from disappointment that our expectations are not met.
He suggests we take a more pessimistic viewpoint on life and prepare ourselves for the worst every morning.
In that way we will never be caught off guard and feel angry and let down that things did not go the way we planned or hoped.
Seems kind of odd as we are taught always to try to look at the 'bright side of life', be optimistic and positive.
Here comes the connection...
I'm smiling as I write this next bit, because I'm thinking how we can apply this to our romatic relationships?
I guess if this is the premise, if we always prepare ourselves for the worst and expect the least of our partners and relationships, we will never be surprised, disappointed, hurt, betrayed, angry, upset, cheated or heartbroken!!
Hmm, I wonder if this philosophy is really going to work?!!
I guess if we expect to be cheated on and betrayed, let down, disappointed, neglected, shouted at, ignored, we can't ever be caught off guard and react badly/angrily.
If we already saw all these bad treatments coming, we won't be surprised so we can just shrug it off and move on to the next relationship unscarred, or soldier on in the same relationship unbothered!!
If this philosophy actually worked in practice, I think I'd be out of business : )
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