Motherhood and Identity

With Mother's Day coming up, I came across this article and thought it was really good...it's so easy to forget who you are and become all about baby. Reposting for your indulgence.

http://www.spiritualwoman.net/Relation/MotherhoodIdentityCrisis.html  

Happy Mother's Day every woman, you are awesome and doing a great job for humanity : )

xx

Therapeutic Approaches = Confused dot com?

With so many different types of therapy and therapists out there to choose from, how do you know which one is going to be right for you?

I think this brief outline of the main therapeutic approaches is really helpful when it comes to trying to find a private therapist to work with.

http://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/a-z-therapy-approaches.htm

Hope you find it helpful too...

xx

Change Happens...

'...greet change with as much grace as you can muster. When change is happening it helps to live within a big wonder-question: What is the positive thing that's trying to happen in my life that makes it necessary for the old structure to fall apart?' 

- The Hendricks Institute of Conscious Living and Learning.

Love and Truth

Love this quote:

“Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it."

-Timothy Keller

Depression is...

Great quote from Deborah Serani, Psy.D:

'depression doesn't care if you're successful, famous or ordinary. It's an illness that distorts how you think and feel, making life seem meaningless and hopeless. It's a real medical condition -- not something that occurs from lack of character, weakness or laziness. '

Taken from this article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shannon-kellogg/valentines-day-depression_b_1219731.html

Honesty Sneeze!

First of all Happy New Year!

Sorry, I am not as active on here as I used to be, I have taken up the resident blogger position at Relate and this has taken up my blogging energy until that settles into a rhythm of its own. I have also gone back to working on my creative writing and poetry so my writing energies are being dispersed at the moment.

Anyway, today I read this from Gay Hendricks from The Hendricks Institute and very much enjoyed it, so am sharing.

Bless you! : )

The Erotic Possibilities Of Honesty

One thing nobody ever bothers to tell us about honesty (at least nobody ever told me): honesty feels good. In fact, if you get really focused on being microscopically honest as you go about your life, you will very likely discover that honesty feels so good it qualifies as a sexual experience. 

There's a good reason for that. Honesty has an immediate effect on your energy system. If there's something inside that you haven't told the truth about--especially if it's something important--it has the effect on your energy system of a withheld sneeze. And no matter how polite you feel by withholding a sneeze, it sure doesn't feel as good and complete, from an energy perspective, as actually sneezing.

To express an emotion or a withheld truth has that same kind of effect on our systems. If we're feeling angry or scared or sad, we need to do two things in order to have a complete energy relationship with them:

1) Feel the deepest truth of the emotion, in our bodies, and

2) Express those feelings in ways that create more aliveness in ourselves and the people around us.

Love Yourself Happy

Read this today about the power of gratitude and how the act of loving itself makes you happy...

http://conscious-transitions.com/the-power-of-gratitude/

x

EFT

I'm still worshipping the goddess that is EFT founder Dr Susan Johnson:

http://www.psychotherapy.net/article/couples-therapy-attachment

x

Doubt Don't Mean Don't

I like this concept. Doubt is normal and it stems from fear and grief...

http://conscious-transitions.com/are-you-settling/

x

Tap tap tapping...

Hmm, I'm still not sure what I think about tapping, but this article makes sense in terms of understanding the fight flight response that can sometimes be all too constant in conflictual relationships. My jury is still out, but I remain open minded...what are your thoughts?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nick-ortner/emotional-freedom-technique_b_1349223.html

x

Attachment

I'm on a training course at the Centre for Child Mental Health at the moment.

The more I think about attachment theory and its significance to humankind, the more I don't understand why everyone doesn't know about it. We need education.

Without attachments to those we love and those who love us, what more are we than leaves blowing in the wind. Desperately trying to find some shelter or respite from the elements of life and so vulnerable to all the things of this world that do not wish love upon us...what tragic irony.

xx

Turnaround

I'm very much enjoying the work of Byron Katie at the moment:

http://thework.com/downloads/little_book/English_LB.pdf

In this little online book she uses a CBT type approach where you take the painful thought, question if it is true and then turn it around.

For example:

Belief: "I'm working so hard to forgive him and he doesn't acknowledge it or help me at all."

Turnaround: "He's working so hard to forgive me and I don't acknowledge it or help him at all."

- Perhaps you both have something to forgive and neither of you help the other?

Belief: "I don't know if you will or can change."

TA "You don't know if I will or can change."

TA "I don't know if I will or can change."

- Are we projecting our own fears and fallibility onto others?

When we turnaround our beliefs and explore all the options, sometimes we realise that the truth is not always the truth, but a painful thought we believe to be true. 

The thought disempowers us as we suffer at its meaning. 

But reality does not change, everything is as it is and as it is meant to be and by fighting with 'shoulds' and 'should nots' in our heads, we are fighting reality! 

Let life lead you rather than you trying to lead life. Don't swim against the current, it will wear you out!

x

Don't wait till it's too late.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2109136/Couples-early-40s-marriage-MOTs-prevent-relationship-breakdown.html

I particularly like the idea of relationship check ups. Baroness Tyler says,

"We have health checks and dental check-ups. Even out cars get MoTs. We should be prepared to invest in our relationship, our emotional lives, in a similar way."

Sobering to think how we put our relationships and emotions so far down the list.

x

Check out my posts on the 'Relate Blog'

http://www.relateblog.org.uk/

xxx

Relate Blog

It's launched and live and ready for action!!

Please comment and subscribe to let us know your thoughts : )

Relate Blog

xxx

Relate Official Blogger!

So my most exciting news that I've been keeping to myself, is that off the back of this blog site, I've been commissioned to write Relate's official blog launching this Monday the 10th September!!! 

ALL your support, following, feedback, comments etc will be most appreciated as we are monitoring its value going forward. Argghhhhh!!

More to come...

Hope Springs

Looks like this is gona be good. Excited to watch it...

http://www.hopesprings-movie.com/

Conflict Resolution

Listened to this today, conflict resolution on BBC Radio, lovely program and well worth a listen: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006qtnz

Belief is a beautiful armour

I was listening to this today by John Mayer today and it really resonated. Wanted to share the lyrics as it's so much of what I see being tussled with in relationships; People fighting for their beliefs. 

Belief is a beautiful armour, because we feel it protects us from being hurt, but when you hit someone you love with it, you can really hurt them. 

How can we work together to accept and respect each other's beliefs?

Belief

Is there anyone who
Ever remembers changing their mind from
The paint on a sign?
Is there anyone who really recalls
Ever breaking rank at all
For something someone yelled real loud one time

Everyone believes
In how they think it ought to be
Everyone believes
And they're not going easily

Belief is a beautiful armour
But makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching under water
You never can hit who you're trying for

Some need the exhibition
And some have to know they tried
It's the chemical weapon
For the war that's raging on inside

Everyone believes
From emptiness to everything
Everyone believes
And no ones going quietly

We're never gonna win the world
We're never gonna stop the war
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for

What puts a hundred thousand children in the sand
Belief can
Belief can
What puts the folded flag inside his mother's hand
Belief can
Belief can

Ninja

I'm a ninja, it's true. It's nice to have validation of how difficult this work can be, so this article made me smile.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/04/fashion/couples-therapists-confront-the-stresses-of-their-field.html?pagewanted=all