Grey

There will always be times when we disagree in our relationships, but if we take a postmodernist stance recognising that there is no one objective truth, we will begin to understand that we are all different and have different points of views and perspectives on things. 

Black and white thinking can be linked back to childhood trauma where splitting occurs as a defence mechanism in order to make sense of the world, the child will see things as all good or all bad. This kind of thinking can often be triggered in adult relationships where it can become more important to be right in a disagreement, than to resolve the issue.

This is something I have been guilty of in the past, as if to be right was to survive. However this survival instinct is now an outdated coping mechanism and may be effective only at the cost of your relationship, the one thing you are really desperately trying to save.

Grey

As tables are turning

With lessons we’re learning

The truth is just what we say

But it doesn’t matter anyway

Who is wrong and who is right

If black is really white

And white is really black

I just want what we had back

Before the insecurity

It felt right with you and me

We were both on the same team

And could say what we would mean

As that slips away

We listen to our brains

As our hearts break into pieces

We try desperately to keep this

Under control, we shout,

I cry, and tell you to get out

But you and I are here together

Hurting ourselves with our ‘whatevers’

There is no black or white

There is no wrong or right

There is only what we say

Mixed up, in shades of grey.

Priscilla Sim

Copyright 2006